daily blog

When we walk down the street and encounter a stray cat, it is hard for us to imagine that this seemingly healthy and vibrant kitty might actually be very sick. This phenomenon is true with even our human counterparts. Part of this deceiving reality is the Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, or FIV. This virus affects more than 11% of cats worldwide.

The probable immediate association, once a person hears this, is with HIV or Human immunodeficiency Virus. The two are very similar in how they are transmitted and also how they affect the body. It seems, though, that cats are better able to deal with the disease in terms of life expectancy after it has been contracted.

Contracting FIV is not a death sentence for a cat. In fact, most cats go on to live happy and healthy lives and carriers and transmitters for several years. FIV attacks the body much more slowly than HIV does. Transmission usually takes place in the form of deep bites or scratches, although other forms of transmission do occur, as traces of the virus are found in other areas of the body such as the vagina, the rectum, and the mouth.

The disease occurs in three stages: the Acute stage, the Subclinical stage, and the Chronic stage. The first stage, acute, happens immediately after transmission, during which time the cat experiences fever and depression. Once the cat has survived the first stage, it goes into the second stage, Subclinical, when the cat appears to be completely healthy for an extended period of time. At the third and final stage, Chronic, the cat suffers from the effects of the disease, developing one or several other nonrelated diseases that it would not have contracted were it able to maintain a healthy immune system.

Despite the fact that cats, especially those house kept, can survive for very long periods of time without treatment, many cat owners insist on treating the symptoms of their pet. A new treatment, released in 2006 and sold exclusively through, IMULAN Bio Therapeutics, LLC, has been developed to counter some of the internal symptoms of the disease, like anemia and thrombocytopenia, a small amount of blood platelets.

FIV affects the entire cat family and is found in numerous big cat species found all over Africa. It seems though that these cats have developed a certain evolutionary resistance to the disease over time. If you think your cat might have FIV, be sure to contact a veterinarian in your area. For more information, consult us at http://houstonveterinarianclinics.com/

Joseph Devine

From early childhood and throughout the schooling system, we learn the “3R’s”: Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic – the science of numbers. (Nowadays, you need to add a fourth “R”- gRaphing!).
Later, we reach a certain level in our education where were may feel rightly or wrongly (often complacently) that our levels of mastering reading and writing are satisfactory.

However… What about numbers? Generally, we do not fully realize the extent to which numbers control and regulate our lives. We are all identified by innumerable numbers from birth to the very last moments of our lives. Just reflect only on some of our important dates: birth, starting school, finishing primary school, finishing secondary school, the admission to university and then also with every stage of our education imprinted with our marks, marks and marks (percentages!). Then other numbers: the first love (the date, some of us remember!), dates of: marriage, birth of children, the first work, salaries, divorce, then blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels, the first operation, the passing away (not yet?) and so on. These numbers are unique to you and unique to me. They all identify you and identify me.

Some numbers quantify information. These are essential to understanding facts, events, processes, laws etc… The US novelist, Nathanel West, 1903-1940, stated aptly: “Numbers constitute the only universal language”.

Studies have shown that even rhesus monkeys can understand the relation between numbers 1 to 9 i.e., they are able to judge whether the specified number is smaller or bigger than the other number.

So, what is the present state of arithmetic? Unfortunately, most of the people satisfy themselves on a very low level of its cognizance. (As an anecdote, I may tell you that I was approached by a lawyer who asked me: “I have to assign a plaintiff 15% of the amount demanded by defendant; how much is it?”). Most people fear numbers if they require any further calculations: making fractions, multiplying, using proportions or inverse proportions, converting to percentages or substituting to formulas. What are the implications of this fact? It often leads to impaired judgement of the average citizen regarding handling their home economics, investment and, as the case may be, the events in their own country and on our globe. As the citizens of a “global village”, we are all affected by events not only in our place or country but even in far-away-countries. Consider these numbers: people affected by HIV, bird flu, tsunami, price of a barrel of oil, tsunami in financial markets, increasing ozone hole, decreasing shoals of fish in oceans, decreasing number of polar bears, the increase in the average yearly temperature, increasing extinction of species of animals and plants. One can present endless number of examples.

The numbers can be puzzling, depressing, shocking, fascinating, mystifying or upsetting. Well, they can be… An educated, intelligent and honest person will perceive them this way. A Polish film director Jerzy Konwicki (renown for his “Ashes and Diamonds”) used to say: “only a cow does not care”.

True, a cow does not know, for example, about the “mad cow” disease and does not understand what it means that a certain percentage of cows are affected by foot-and-mouth disease and bluetongue virus. There are however, unfortunately, also some examples among educated as well as decision making persons, institutions and governments who do not care. They have dubious motives to ignore some numbers (and related facts) they do not like. What will be the consequences of their arrogance to human beings in the future? A Japanese proverb says that more intelligent are those who see further…

Below there are several examples of numbers compiled from the Internet, Time and Trumpet. They may not be exact; however you may find them interesting and worthy of your attention:

65 000 – estimated population of Africa’s black rhinos in 1970
3 600 – estimated population of Africa’s black rhino in 2007
2 000 000 000 000 USD – US cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, so far

3 500 000 – Jews murdered in Poland by German Nazis

32 000 000 – population of Poland before II WW; 24 000 000 after the war

1500 – new HIV infections a day in South Africa

1 000 000 – Americans killed yearly by heart attacks (cardiacnetwork.net)

7:2 – ratio of average number of TV sets to children in the USA

1500 – number of hours, the average USA teenager spends watching TV

67% – percentage of Australian and USA men are overweight

1 in 12- South Africans who had access to the Internet in 2007

15-30 000 000 – men suffering from erectile dysfunction (NIH, USA government statistics)

690 000 000 – number of Asians living on $1 or less per day (Asian Dev. Bank)

142.8 – number of women raped per 100 000 in South Africa; 150 per day

66 000 000 – number of people in the USA suffering with arthritis, the most common chronic health problem in the USA

3% – rate of the green gas increasing per year

7 600 000 – number of cancer death worldwide in 2007

5 200 000 – Americans suffer from full-blown diabetes and don’t know it…yet.

14 000 – dolphins killed annually in Japan

400 000 000 – number of people in the world suffering from depression and mental disorders (WHO).

Look again at the numbers. They alone are meaningless. However, together with the descriptive information, they carry powerful information, obviously to those who are intelligent enough to understand them. Unfortunately, it does not mean yet, that those who understand them and have authority to make decision/s to change some of the numbers/trends are willing to act…

Are you already feeling depressed? You should be… You are intelligent…
Till the next time… (2).

P.S.: While proofreading, my wife counsels me that I have omitted three other important R’s. During a whole life one should learn: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for your own actions. She is absolutely Right!

Wacek Kijewski is the author of stimulating and entertaining resource material on experimental science: “SI Units, Conversion and Measurement Skills” (the 2007 edition, IBN 0629340584, 186 pp, USD97. The book is recommended for students and lecturers science and engineering courses. Visit website: http://www.wacek.co.za and http://www.wacek.co.za/review.html Read seven reviews: UNESCO, UK, South Africa, Botswana, United States, Hungary. His other ezines:”The Travellers Temperature Tips”, “Is IQ a Metric Unit of Intelligence and…Stupidity”, “Al-Gebra and Illuminati Links Discovered”, “How to Measure Cultural Differences in Metric Units”, “The Traveller’s Temperature Predicaments (2). NB: The book is being sold by Amazon and other booksellers illegally.

Frederick H. Ecker became President of the Metropolitan on March 26, 1929, and associated with him as Vice Presidents were Robert L. Cox and Leroy A. Lincoln. Mr. Cox died in January of the following year, and Mr. Lincoln immediately assumed the position of second in command. He succeeded to the Presidency in March 1936, when Mr. Ecker became Chairman of the Board. When the new administration took office in 1929, the country was enjoying what appeared to be great prosperity.

Many men in business and in public life believed that we had attained a depression less economy. Corporate earnings were at a high level. There was frenzied activity in the stock market and in the flotation of new securities. Prices of common stocks reached dizzy peaks. Credit was easy to obtain. The growth of the Metropolitan and of other life insurance companies reflected the optimistic spirit of the times. All prospered as a result of the great business activity and the high rate of employment at good wages then prevalent throughout the country.

The first hundred billion dollars of life insurance rates in force had been attained; predictions were being confidently made that within another 10 years the second hundred billion would be added. But in October 1929 came the first manifestation of a series of cataclysms which shook the country and the world. The first stock market crash came almost out of a clear sky. The full significance of this indication of economic distress was little understood at the time. Many people suffered immediate losses. Many held on to their securities while prices were dropping sharply, only to sell them at even lower figures at a later date, or to be closed out for lack of margin.

Nevertheless, there were many in high places that refused to believe that this was more than a temporary financial setback. Although the national income fell in 1930 and 1931, it was still at a fairly high level. Because of the low prices to which common stocks had fallen, various recommendations were made in the late autumn of 1929 urging the life insurance companies to make such purchases in anticipation of rapid economic recovery.

The State laws governing life insurance investments specifically forbade such venturing. Undoubtedly great havoc would have been wrought in the financial structures of many companies and great losses suffered by policy holders if such advice could have been taken. The market quotations as they dropped from month to month thoroughly confirmed the prophetic warnings of Mr. Ecker, and justified his insistence that the law limiting the character of the investment portfolio of Life insurance companies should remain essentially unchanged.

The life insurance companies stood firm. Because of the character of their portfolios, they were not seriously affected by the declining values. In some respects, the very nature of the upset at the close of 1929 reacted favorably upon the companies. Many individuals who had lost heavily in the stock market felt called upon to increase their Life insurance in order to make good the losses to the estates which they had hoped to build up for their families.

Thus, in the years immediately following the first stock market crash, ordinary insurance made unparalleled gains and was becoming closer and closer to offering term life insurance without exam. In 1930 the Metropolitan issued, exclusive of business revived or increased, close to $1,400,000,000 of ordinary insurance, the highest annual figure in the history of this department up to that time. But even this figure was exceeded by a considerable margin the following year, when a total of more than $1,460,000,000 was achieved. In fact, 1931 has remained the banner year for the writing of ordinary insurance in the Metropolitan.

Even in the industrial department there was an issue of $1,110,000,000 in 1930, only 8% less than in its peak year of 1929. In 1931 the industrial insurance issued still exceeded $1,000,000,000. In both the ordinary and the industrial departments, the total insurance in force continued to increase without interruption through the year 1931. Apparently, the economic situation up to that time had not yet seriously affected the ability of the American people to purchase or maintain life insurance.

Sarah Martin is a freelance marketing writer based out of San Diego, CA. She specializes in finance, business, and different types of insurance. For a free term life insurance quote, please visit http://www.equote.com/.

From early childhood and throughout the schooling system, we learn the “3R’s”: Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic – the science of numbers. (Nowadays, you need to add a fourth “R”- gRaphing!).
Later, we reach a certain level in our education where were may feel rightly or wrongly (often complacently) that our levels of mastering reading and writing are satisfactory.

However… What about numbers? Generally, we do not fully realize the extent to which numbers control and regulate our lives. We are all identified by innumerable numbers from birth to the very last moments of our lives. Just reflect only on some of our important dates: birth, starting school, finishing primary school, finishing secondary school, the admission to university and then also with every stage of our education imprinted with our marks, marks and marks (percentages!). Then other numbers: the first love (the date, some of us remember!), dates of: marriage, birth of children, the first work, salaries, divorce, then blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels, the first operation, the passing away (not yet?) and so on. These numbers are unique to you and unique to me. They all identify you and identify me.

Some numbers quantify information. These are essential to understanding facts, events, processes, laws etc… The US novelist, Nathanel West, 1903-1940, stated aptly: “Numbers constitute the only universal language”.

Studies have shown that even rhesus monkeys can understand the relation between numbers 1 to 9 i.e., they are able to judge whether the specified number is smaller or bigger than the other number.

So, what is the present state of arithmetic? Unfortunately, most of the people satisfy themselves on a very low level of its cognizance. (As an anecdote, I may tell you that I was approached by a lawyer who asked me: “I have to assign a plaintiff 15% of the amount demanded by defendant; how much is it?”). Most people fear numbers if they require any further calculations: making fractions, multiplying, using proportions or inverse proportions, converting to percentages or substituting to formulas. What are the implications of this fact? It often leads to impaired judgement of the average citizen regarding handling their home economics, investment and, as the case may be, the events in their own country and on our globe. As the citizens of a “global village”, we are all affected by events not only in our place or country but even in far-away-countries. Consider these numbers: people affected by HIV, bird flu, tsunami, price of a barrel of oil, tsunami in financial markets, increasing ozone hole, decreasing shoals of fish in oceans, decreasing number of polar bears, the increase in the average yearly temperature, increasing extinction of species of animals and plants. One can present endless number of examples.

The numbers can be puzzling, depressing, shocking, fascinating, mystifying or upsetting. Well, they can be… An educated, intelligent and honest person will perceive them this way. A Polish film director Jerzy Konwicki (renown for his “Ashes and Diamonds”) used to say: “only a cow does not care”.

True, a cow does not know, for example, about the “mad cow” disease and does not understand what it means that a certain percentage of cows are affected by foot-and-mouth disease and bluetongue virus. There are however, unfortunately, also some examples among educated as well as decision making persons, institutions and governments who do not care. They have dubious motives to ignore some numbers (and related facts) they do not like. What will be the consequences of their arrogance to human beings in the future? A Japanese proverb says that more intelligent are those who see further…

Below there are several examples of numbers compiled from the Internet, Time and Trumpet. They may not be exact; however you may find them interesting and worthy of your attention:

65 000 – estimated population of Africa’s black rhinos in 1970
3 600 – estimated population of Africa’s black rhino in 2007
2 000 000 000 000 USD – US cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, so far

3 500 000 – Jews murdered in Poland by German Nazis

32 000 000 – population of Poland before II WW; 24 000 000 after the war

1500 – new HIV infections a day in South Africa

1 000 000 – Americans killed yearly by heart attacks (cardiacnetwork.net)

7:2 – ratio of average number of TV sets to children in the USA

1500 – number of hours, the average USA teenager spends watching TV

67% – percentage of Australian and USA men are overweight

1 in 12- South Africans who had access to the Internet in 2007

15-30 000 000 – men suffering from erectile dysfunction (NIH, USA government statistics)

690 000 000 – number of Asians living on $1 or less per day (Asian Dev. Bank)

142.8 – number of women raped per 100 000 in South Africa; 150 per day

66 000 000 – number of people in the USA suffering with arthritis, the most common chronic health problem in the USA

3% – rate of the green gas increasing per year

7 600 000 – number of cancer death worldwide in 2007

5 200 000 – Americans suffer from full-blown diabetes and don’t know it…yet.

14 000 – dolphins killed annually in Japan

400 000 000 – number of people in the world suffering from depression and mental disorders (WHO).

Look again at the numbers. They alone are meaningless. However, together with the descriptive information, they carry powerful information, obviously to those who are intelligent enough to understand them. Unfortunately, it does not mean yet, that those who understand them and have authority to make decision/s to change some of the numbers/trends are willing to act…

Are you already feeling depressed? You should be… You are intelligent…
Till the next time… (2).

P.S.: While proofreading, my wife counsels me that I have omitted three other important R’s. During a whole life one should learn: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for your own actions. She is absolutely Right!

Wacek Kijewski is the author of stimulating and entertaining resource material on experimental science: “SI Units, Conversion and Measurement Skills” (the 2007 edition, IBN 0629340584, 186 pp, USD97. The book is recommended for students and lecturers science and engineering courses. Visit website: http://www.wacek.co.za and http://www.wacek.co.za/review.html Read seven reviews: UNESCO, UK, South Africa, Botswana, United States, Hungary. His other ezines:”The Travellers Temperature Tips”, “Is IQ a Metric Unit of Intelligence and…Stupidity”, “Al-Gebra and Illuminati Links Discovered”, “How to Measure Cultural Differences in Metric Units”, “The Traveller’s Temperature Predicaments (2). NB: The book is being sold by Amazon and other booksellers illegally.

FHA loans are loans that are insured by (HUD) Housing Urban and Development. FHA loans have been around since the 1930′s right after the “Great Depression.” This was when 4 out of 10 households owned a home. (FHA) Federal Housing Administration is the savior for our current market just like it was back during the roaring 30′s.With FHA loans especially during a credit crunch like we are currently are in, you can rest assure banks are willing to be more lenient to approve credit challenged borrowers with FHA financing. The reason is FHA loans are insured by HUD, and if the borrower looses the home HUD will pay a claim to lender for the loss. FHA is the largest single insurer of loans in the world.

FHA Advantages.

- Lower interest rates, typically interest rates are lower on FHA loans with the banks since they are government insured loans

- Only requires minimum investment from borrower of 3% down payment, which can be eliminated by Down Payment Assistance. So essential you can get a 100% financing with FHA loans. Note: Requires Seller participation

- If you have less than perfect credit you can typically can get a loan with FHA, they usually like to see 12 to 24 months clean credit report history. You can even get a loan while in chapter 13 bankruptcy.

- No Credit Score Requirement

- Recent loan limits increased-varies from state to state. For example you can buy a home in the state of Texas with FHA up to $271,050. Depending on if your state is a high cost area; obviously this loan limit would be higher.

- Will allow alternate lines of credit if not good history is on credit report.

Example:

1. Letter from any utility company stating you have been on-time with your payment history for that last 12 months.

2. 12 month payment history from car insurance company, cell phone company and even daycare will work.

If you are currently in the market to buy or maybe you feel like you need credit repair, what ever your direction is, getting a FHA loan is not as hard as you think. FHA gets people approved that may not get approved with other loan types. The first step is to examine where you are at with a lender and get the ball rolling. IN this current market some lenders are requiring you to either have a 580 credit score or higher. They will also allow no credit score but your interest rate is higher than current market rates. This is going on even though FHA has no credit score requirement; this is due to bad performance of loans below the credit score benchmark of 580.

About the Author: Mike Clover is the owner of http://www.creditscorequick.com/
CreditScoreQuick.com is the one of the top on-line resources for free credit score report, fico score, identity theft protection, secured credit cards, student credit cards , mortgage loans, auto loans, insurance and a BlOG with a wealth of personal credit information. The information within this website is written by professionals that know about credit, and what determines ones credit worthiness.

The French designer Jean Patou was born on 1887 in Normandy, France. His first job was in a small dressmaking shop, Parry, before World War I. partnership produced his first collection in 1914. In 1919, after serving as Captain of Zouaves during the war, he returned to the fashion industry and opened his own couture house.

Patou’s involvement in the evolution of partnership is extensive, its influence, rather obvious. Clothes were made to be beautiful yet comfortable, functional and simple, with accents limited to seam linings and embroideries, as exemplified by his creation of the cardigan. He developed a partnership for swimwear that resists shrinkage and is non-colorfast. He also invented the knitted swimsuit and tennis skirt. His collection was publicized by famous names such as Wimbledon tennis star Suzanne Lenglen and American aviator Ruth Elder. Women of the 1920s started to imitate this sporty look even if they did not engage in sports.

His vision of the ultimate sportswear collection was realized when he opened Le Coin des Sports, a boutique in Paris that catered to all sorts of sportswear, including accessories. He extended these shops to Deauville and Biarritz, both popular resort areas to travelers.

He proved to be a pioneer in ways more than one. In the 1920s, he invented designer ties made from women’s dress and the famous cubist sweaters. He is accounted for the first designer label that he had sewn to his designs. He was able to produce exclusive colors through a special dyeing method so as to eradicate competitor replicas. In 1929, he raised the waistline of the skirt and brought it back to its natural hemline – a move that Chanel followed through quickly.

He traveled to the United States in 1924 where he hired six American models and brought them to France to work as mannequins. The American silhouette became a point of emulation for French women and therefore helped boost the companys sales in addition to the extra profit that scarves, hats and accessories brought to him. It also paved the way for his fame in the American community, which was its target market, aside from a few wealthy French clients.

The House of Patou was created in 1925. It featured his perfume collection, the one element that survived it during the Great Depression when the fashion business crashed. It was in 1935, at the peak of the Depression, that the fragrance Joy was designed by Henri Almeras for former clients. The floral scent of Joy would create an indelible imprint in the fashion industry decades later.

In 1936, Patou died. His sister, Madeleine and her husband, Raymond Barbas took over the company so that it remains in family hands until now. By 1982, Parfums Patou was built in London, Milan, Geneva, Australia and Hong Kong. The year 1998 saw the rise of Jean Patou into the forefront of the fragrance industry. Aside from its own line of perfumes, the company was also made a distributor of Hubigant’s Quelques Fleurs, and the developer/seller of Yohji Yamamoto’s perfumes. However, it is still Joy, the world’s most costly fragrance that Patou is best known for. Joy perfume gained recognition as the “Scent of the Century” in UK’s Fifi Awards in 2000, outweighing long-time opponent, Chanel No.5. Following the success of Joy, the company introduced fragrances Lacoste and Nacre in 2000 and 2001, respectively.

Find Sublime perfume and other Jean Patou perfumes and colognes at perfume center.

It seems the more experience I gain in the field of psychotherapy, the more clients I interact with, the more I live my own life, the more I believe the attempt to inappropriately control events is at the core of unhappiness. The use of control is paradoxical: we believe taking control will bring us security and happiness, yet in many cases it causes unhappiness, anxiety, and malaise. In this article I will explain this premise, and support my observations with some findings regarding happiness.

I am often confronted with clients who have addiction problems, depression, marital issues, anxiety, and anger issues. It is my contention that these difficulties have a common thread: control.

Let’s start with depression. I have several clients who hold onto their pessimistic attitudes and beliefs. They are holding on to this style of living, as uncovered in therapy, as a security blanket against disappointment. In other words, they believe if they keep a pessimistic attitude, they are less likely to be disappointed. I purport that this is an attempt to control what is inevitable. Disappointment is a part of life. Being let down, disappointed, or hurt is part of the human existence. Granted, these people have experienced either an inordinate amount of these negative emotions, or they have been hypersensitive to events which were less than positive. But their current malady has as much to do with an attempt to prevent future hurt as much as with the scarring of the past hurt. And I contend this is an inappropriate attempt to control.

It is often easy to see how anger can be a result of wanting to control, and increasing the emotional reaction when control is impeded. Using children as an example, when you tell your child to do something, and they do not, or they talk back, or they ignore you, it is common to become angry. It is relatively clear how this is related to control: in this case the desire to control your child’s behavior. It is also reasonable to understand how it may escalate when this desire to control is obstructed.

This is not to say all anger comes from issues surrounding control. Anger often is a result of fear or hurt feelings in addition to thwarted attempts to control. And although this could be related to control, or the reaction to a lack of control, this is not the forum for that.

Another example of how anger relates to control is when driving and stuck in traffic. One may become frustrated with the inability to get where they need to be in the timeframe they expected. The situation has become out of their control. They may try to exercise control by switching lanes, trying to cut in front of others, or by leaving the highway and trying an alternate route. This can further complicate the issue. The bottom line here is that the inability to control the situation, the feeling control has been taken by extenuating circumstances, has led to the feeling of frustration and anger.

There are often many contributors to marital issues. Difficulty with losing or feeling one has no control is occasionally one of the problems. Some couple’s presenting for therapy do so as a result of arguments. These arguments sometimes stem from issues surrounding not behaving in a fashion that is consistent with the other’s expectations. And, as you can probably ascertain by now, this again relates to control, or the lack thereof. One partner wants something handled in this way. The other disagrees, either outwardly, or by not altering behavior. Arguments escalate or avoidance occurs. All are a result of wanting to have your way in the situation, and not getting it, or having the other try to take it away.

Addiction is often characterized by a loss of control. This loss of control is in regard to a substance or behavior that initially brings relief or pleasure. The actual substance use often starts as an attempt to control feelings. Many people who end up addicted begin substance use in an attempt to manage (or control) feelings and moods. They do not like what they are experiencing, and want it altered. For example, perhaps they had a rough day at work, and want to relax. The use the substance to alter their mood, hence taking control of a mood they otherwise felt was being controlled by external events (whatever contributed to the bad day). This theory can be applied to any such negative mood state. Eventually, they come to over rely on the substance, and eventually, the substance dictates the mood. This is true of other problems as well, and a vicious and self-feeding cycle can begin. But at least one part of the core of it is a desire to control.

Next lets address anxiety. Although anxiety is a general term, we can also call it being worrisome. When and why do people worry? Generally, we worry about the future, whether distant or near. An example would be worrying about your child being out with friends. This may seem like a normal situation to worry about. After all, you do not know what your child may be doing, or may be concerned with their decision making skills (rightly so, as teens have been known to make poor decisions). In psychology it is believed every behavior or action has a reward. In the case of worrying, the reward is to foresee a problem and take action. But often the worrying continues when no action is possible. Worry is often an attempt to control, or a wish to control, what is uncontrollable. When worrying, or anxiety, serves the purpose of aiding preparation, it is a worthy pursuit. But once what can be done is done, worrying is ineffective. These feeling then stem from a desire to control an outcome, and the anxiety about not knowing the outcome; or more simply stated, not being in control.

This is also true in dating, and other common life events. For example, when one meets someone they are interested in, many people start wondering about the experience. What do they think of me? There are these positives, and these negatives, will it work out? Is this someone I see myself with in the future? What about the obstacles, can they be overcome? Is this my soul mate, my other half? All of these questions, that can be common to those beginning a relationship, are an attempt to know the unknowable and thereby control the outcome. Rather than relaxing and letting things unfold, which leaves one somewhat vulnerable, we humans try to figure things out, often in futile attempts to know the future, and gain control.

I believe, in the brief format provided, I have adequately demonstrated how control, either the desire to have it, or the loss or removal of it, is involved in the above issues. I will now discuss some of the effective ways to address and minimize its affect. I will start with how those in addiction recovery combat it. Of course, I believe much of what is applicable to addiction treatment and recovery will be effective with depression, anxiety, anger, or the other issues discussed.

In addiction treatment, which has been my primary area of expertise for years, people entering recovery are often told the virtues of “acceptance,” (please see page 449 of the book “Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd edition for further explanation) “letting go and letting God” and “live and let live.” These saying are all geared at helping the substance dependent individual practice letting go of control, allowing things to happen, and not fretting about the future. The goal of the 12 steps of addiction recovery is “Spiritual Awakening.”

As long as we are on the spiritual, lets discuss religion and faith. In several articles I have read some keys to happiness were discussed. These articles, which varied in some respects, had a common theme: faith. According to these articles, those that have faith, faith that things happen for a reason, faith that things will work out as they are supposed to, faith that a higher power is acting on their behalf, are happier than those who do not share these beliefs. Although other keys to happiness are discussed in these articles as well, I do not believe that the role of faith should be minimized. If you believe things will work out, there is no need to worry, or hold onto depression or a pessimistic view to protect you. If you believe things are as they are supposed to be and that in the end there is a good end product to be had from seemingly negative events, you will be happier. Faith cannot be minimized.

However, faith does not necessarily require belief in God. Faith can simply be the belief that you will benefit from this in the end. This may be through personal growth, a life lesson, or simply a nudge in the right direction by your unconscious. Even the most vehement atheist might be able to accept that the unconscious is a power that influences behavior. And if that atheist can believe their unconscious is helping by pushing in a positive direction, then the faith necessary for happiness can be found.

The power of letting go of control is evident through the recent movement in psychology to incorporate Eastern thought and beliefs. From Linehan’s Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for certain mental health issues, to the recent well written book “The Mindful Way Through Depression,” Eastern thought has been slowly but effectively adopted and often proven effective by the psychological profession. This is nothing new. I recently completed reading a book written in the 1970′s with a similar theme that was again geared at psychotherapy. All of this writing and use of Eastern thought for improving mental health seems indicative of its benefit.

Although Eastern thought does not explicitly discuss faith as in Western religion, there is a letting go of control that is incorporated into its thought. The main theme of the aforementioned books are accepting things as they are, and returning to the present moment. There is a sense of understanding humility, that there are powers greater than you at work in the natural flow of the universe, that things will unfold in a natural order.

My favorite thought in Buddhism is the second noble truth. Loosely translated, it amounts to desire being the root of all suffering. It means when one wants things to be different than they are, when one attaches themselves to good feelings and attempts to avoid bad feelings, when one attempts to control their life to exclude everything they do not like, suffering occurs. The way to happiness is through non-attachment, letting go of expectations, being in the present, not making judgments, and simply accepting life as it presents itself. This is a tall order for sure. Even wanting to be this way defeats the point (there is again desire to be other than you are). But striving toward it by simply reminding yourself occasionally that the present is what it is, that everything doesn’t have to conform to your desires, can bring happiness.

I believe I have presented a thoughtful argument that inappropriate attempts to control are a root cause for discontent. I also believe I have offered some practical thought for how to combat it, and to bring more (not complete) happiness to life.

William Berry MS., CAP.
Program Director
Addiction Education Consultants
http://www.addictioneducationconsultants.com
954 306-0722

Have you ever wished for or wanted something because it would make you happy? When you got it, were you happy and for how long? If what you did or received didn’t bring you the happiness you anticipated – why?

I first met him in grade school; Brian always talked about being married and having two children. Throughout the years it was what he most talked about; how happy he was going to be. When he finished school, got a job, married someone he loved and had children; he would be the happiest person in the world.

School was not easy for Brian, he was small in stature and the bullies loved to pick on him. The more difficult school became for him, the more he would drift into his imagination and envision his new life after graduation. If it was going to happen it would have to be later as he was just not popular with the girls in school or anyone else. Withdrawn and unnoticed he struggled through 12 years of hell, just surviving, and except for me; friendless.

As his friend I wanted him to be happy and I also looked to his new found happiness when he finished school. What a wonderful life he was going to have with his family and friends. We talked about how his wife would look and how she would love him and take care of him.
His children filled with love for Dad would be totally devoted to him and they would follow him around like puppies. Brian had big dreams and absolute faith that life would be easier and filled with happiness once he had what he wanted. Twelve years of struggle finally ended on his graduation. He refused to attend the ceremonies and gave the thumb up gesture to the whole idea.

Brian quickly found a job and made a down payment on his first car. This was a symbol for him as the very first step in finding his long overdue happiness. Just over three weeks into his job, he met a girl and started dating, and six weeks later he was married. Ten months later Brian proudly introduced his son to the world and 18 months later a daughter.

Brian’s whirlwind tour had netted him everything that he wanted except for one thing. A few years into his marriage Brian was not happy, in fact he was never so miserable in his life. Nothing he did or had brought him the happiness he so desperately wanted. His relationships with his wife, children and even his car were not happy ones.

Psychologists would look back to his childhood and suggest many things contributed to his present situation. On the surface I would agree with them. However, I look to the root causes and break things down to their simplest denominator.

On the surface his family relations may not have been very positive. His relationships with his siblings could have contributed to his negative attitude. His small frame and frail appearance may have disempowered him. But these are all physical attributes of a life he manifested that was not filled with happiness. From the beginning the reality of all these things was that he did not choose happiness first.

Brian disempowered himself to be happy by attaching happiness to things and events that were going to happen in the future. Brian had become quite comfortable with not being happy. So in every moment of his young life he decided he would be happy later. Happiness for him was outside of himself; it was something that would come as a package later.

The truth is we are not victims of circumstances; we create them. It is not correct to judge Brian’s life as being wasted. In fact his life was lived exactly the way he chose. At some level of consciousness he chose not to be happy now, but to set a goal to be happy in the future. Judgment ignores the destiny of the spirit; what the spirit has chosen to experience; what we observe of one’s life is always appropriate in the moment. Brian’s struggle in the beginning could well lead him to total bliss in the future or not. I don’t know what it is that Brian wanted to experience in the physical life, and apparently he didn’t know either. Every step we make leads to another, sometimes the step seems to lead away from our destiny, but this is not possible. All steps lead to a final destination.

Happiness doesn’t come to us; we are happy by nature. In the reverse order we think of happiness first then seek to express or demonstrate it physically; this is not the way Brian chose. It still does not mean that what he chose would not bring him happiness if we are to look at the greater picture. It may well mean a side step to happiness that will have greater meaning and expression.

The reason Brian didn’t experience his happiness in his choices was because he had no power to make it happen. He gave away his power to people and events and it was not delivered. There are no things, events or people in the world who can “make” us happy. Our emotions are triggered by our perspective; how we see ourselves in relationship to others and our environment. A happy event for one can be just the opposite for another. When we leave our emotions to the whims of others we will always be disappointed.

Brian could have been happy at any point in his life if he had chosen to be. With the thought of happiness as his current desire, he would have drawn people, places and things to him that would reflect his happiness. What he chose was a different way to demonstrate his journey to the awareness of happiness and his own power to manifest it.

All of us have heard someone say “If only I had this or that” I would be happy. Think back a bit; were they happy and if so, for how long? After the initial happiness, did they go into depression, disappointment, anger or some other emotion; most likely. Somewhere along the way after the event, they chose to feel some other way. Happiness attached to a thing or event does not last if it was not preceded by the will to be happy. If the awareness of happy is attached to an object or event, then once you have it you have reached the end of your journey. Even if the happiness remains for some time, when the object or event is removed the attached happiness will disappear as well. The awareness may remain in memory for a period until it is forgotten. To last, the awareness of happy would have to precede the event and the physical manifestation would be the symbol of that happiness.

Can Brian ever be happy; of course, it’s simply about choice? Can he be happy with his present circumstances; of course? He can change his thoughts about what he has or is experiencing and turn his life around. He can also leave behind what he already has, if it does not reflect his true feelings. It certainly may not be easy, or maybe it would be if he chose happy first, and then decided to act on it. It may very well come easy for him to start a new life that reflects his current feelings of happiness.

Happiness, sounds, looks, feels, smells, and tastes different to everyone. No two people identify with it the same way. The real truth is that happiness is expressed through these senses differently not the other way around. The senses react to the desire to be happy.

There are a couple of things to remember here. Happiness precedes the physical manifestation of it. You are always happy by nature and you choose to experience it or any other emotion in your own unique way. Thought, word, and deed are the steps to creating your experience. Never depend on anyone or anything to bring you happiness – it isn’t going to happen.

Know this; you are the creator of all things you will experience. No person or god has any control over you. You are a victim only if it is what you wish to experience at some level of your consciousness.

In all things you create, be aware of what it is you “really” desire as very few people actually know what they want. Also, if happy is all that you are, you will never experience it. Happy is only relative to unhappiness, you must know both in order to experience either one. Choose the one you most wish to experience.

Roy E. Klienwachter is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. A International published author, a student of NLP, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy’s books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination, and take you to places you would never have thought of.

Read about Roy’s books at:
http://www.yourlifewasnevermeanttobeastruggle.com
http://www.leddownthegardenpath.com