daily blog

Men may call it football. But to you, it looks more like a half-off sale at Macy’s.

Speaking of which, you can always go shopping while the game is on. But football season lasts a long, long time. And anyway, cuddling up on the sofa with your beloved on those cold winter evenings does have some appeal.

But if you don’t know what’s going on, and if your beloved (as so many beloveds do) makes it clear that he’d prefer you not ask questions while the game is on . . . what’s a football challenged woman to do?

Well, we’re about to tell you.

The thing is, learning the basics of football – that is, enough to make game-watching fun – is at about the same degree of difficulty as learning to send e-mails. Without attachments.

Okay. Get comfortable. Fix yourself some herb tea. Or a vodka tonic. Make sure you have a clear view of the television screen.

Now, pick a team to root for. Doesn’t matter which one. Pick them for your own reasons. Because you like the color of their uniforms. Because one of the guys on the sidelines reminds you of your high school crush. Whatever.

It’s just more fun when, as they say, you have some skin in the game.

But do feel free to switch to the other team if the one you picked is getting creamed by time the game is only half over. It’s easy to tell when that is, by the way, because there’s this long break away from the game with lots of commentator ‘analysis’ and many commercials that allow you time to refill your beverage of choice. Not surprisingly, this hiatus is called ‘half time’. See? You know some jargon already.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s get back to the beginning of the game.

Things get kicked off by . . . well, by kicking off the football. Who gets to kick the football and who gets to receive the football is decided before the game by a coin toss.

After that, each team is allowed four chances (called ‘downs’) to move the ball a minimum of ten yards. There are white lines drawn across the field at five-yard intervals, so it’s pretty easy to judge the distance. Plus when you’re watching on TV, they superimpose this really cool digital line in bright yellow so you really can’t miss it.

Anyway, if the team with the football succeeds in moving it ten or more yards, they get another four chances. If they don’t, they have to kick the ball to the other team and allow them their four chances to do the same.

And that’s about it for the format of the game.

To understand the action, you need to focus on the football.

You’ll notice that, when the action starts (each piece of action is called a ‘play’), the ball is sitting on the ground between the two teams. There are eleven men on each team, and you’ll see that a bunch on each side stands in a line facing each other. These are called (all together now!) LINEmen!

Told you it was easy.

Anyway, the teams take turns trying to move the ball to the opposite end of the playing field. The guy in the center of the line (called, amazingly, the CENTER) tosses the ball backwards between his legs (weird but true) to the guy directly behind him, who is called the quarterback, and who is like the general of the team.

While the linemen on his team try to keep the guys on the other team from pounding him into the Astroturf, the quarterback attempts to get the football moving down the field toward the goal line (that is, the line that marks the end of the playing field).

He does this by running with it himself, handing it to someone else to run with it, or throwing it to someone else.

Meanwhile, their counterparts on the other team are trying to prevent them from succeeding.

But if the quarterback or his guys do manage to get the ball all the way across the goal line (called a ‘touchdown’), they are awarded six points, to which they can add another point by kicking the ball between the uprights of the goalpost (you know what that is, right?) after the touchdown. This is generally referred to as a ‘point after.’

If they can’t get all the way to the goal line by running and throwing the ball, they can give up short of the goal line and try to kick the ball between the uprights from wherever they are on the playing field. This is called a field goal, and gets them three points.

Whoever has the most points when time runs out wins the game.

That’s really all you need to know to watch a game of football. So go ahead: pick a team; focus on the ball; cuddle.

What happens next is up to you.

Bob Brooker and Kaye O’Dougherty want everyone to be happy. So if football season is disrupting your relationship, and the TV clicker wars are pitting Love against the NFL, they’d like to suggest some happier alternatives. Like intimacy, romance, sex and M&M’s. All you have to do is look at football in a slightly different way. And Bob and Kaye are there to help you at http://www.footballforlovers.com

Take a look at my 2008 festival season handy guide to preparation for your festival, whether the sun is beaming or the skies are pouring!

Tip 1. Wellies are a must! In recent years people have opted for hiking boots, but should the weather become really wet, the mud will ride up your legs and you will be more concerned about this than the great acts on stage. If travelling by car, why not leave your wellies in the boot, that way your tent will be kept clean, if you have no car, why not seek for a cheap boot bag to store your boots in.

Tip 2. There is a myth that you need loads of toilet roll, but nowadays most festivals are handing out eco rolls at the gate, so you can benefit from more space in your bag, and save the environment.

Tip 3. Try not to take too much money, and if you need to, spread it around. Ensure you keep all your money in one place, if you do and you lose it, you lose everything and that means no BEER!

Tip 4. Be careful with your mobile and if need be, take an old mobile phone that has a spare battery, if you lose it, you can still enjoy the festival.

Tip 5. The nights are dark and the toilet visit during the night is much easier with a torch. Have one handing near the door of the tent and ensure it has new batteries ready to go.

Tip 6. Wet wipes are a godsend, they are easy to use and will be a godsend all weekend! Just ensure you seal the top after use to prevent drying out. You should also take some small freezer bags with you to ensure everything stays dry during the period the tent is up.

Tip 7. Arrive early to get a good spot, and look for the high ground to reduce the risk of flooding. Start from the bottom and peg it to the floor first so the wind should not embarrass you.

Tip 8. Water is key. You will need it for your hands, but more importantly for your teeth. Why waste time queuing? Simply use a mouthful of water and brush your teeth by the tent.

Tip 9. Sun lotion is a must, so apply as soon as you wake and at intervals throughout the day. The worst feeling is when you are burnt. Visit Superdrug and get a handy little mini tube of sun lotion, or search online for free samples. Always keep your lotion handy, you will need it during the day.

Tip 10. Finally, some people are boring and buy dull wellies, you will see these abandoned around the field when you are leaving. If you get stuck driving away from the festival, simply stick an abandoned welly under each back wheel and see the difference in grip! You see, wellies are not just for wearing!

A great store for wellies is Freds Clothing, they have a massive range of funky wellies, clothing and festival equipment including Hunter Wellies. Remember that your wellies will last you many years, so ensure you take them home with you after the festival.

Tony Ryder is an online reporter based in Lincoln, UK and works freelance for local music and fashion websites.

It is always nice when you can pay less for house insurance and get the same or more cover. Below are 10 handy tips that you can carry out to get cheaper house insurance premiums.

1. Increase your voluntary excess

Your insurance excess is the amount of money you will pay on a claim before the insurer pays the remainder. For example, if you had a 200 pound excess and a £500 claim you would pay 200 pounds and the insurer would pay 300 pounds. If you choose to increase your excess, you will be charged a lower premium. You can make huge savings by doing this. When you are comparing policies, play around with changing the excess amount to see how much you can save.

2. Fit smoke alarms

Fire alarms are reasonably cheap, especially when compared to the cost of a home or the loss of a life. A large number of home fires are caused by cooking or smoking. Don’t leave matches or lighters laying around, never leave your cooking unattended and don’t smoke cigarettes in bed. Be aware if you have young children that they love to play with all things exciting and new. They may turn the cooker on, light paper or cover lamps. All of these things can cause a fire in your home.

3. Install new locks

If you have just moved into a new home, you don’t know who might still have a key. The cost of replacing your locks is far less than having all of your worldly possessions stolen from from your house. Ensure you fit quality locks – preferably 5-lever mortise locks.

4. Have security lighting installed

Theives prefer to work under the cover of darkness and don’t like to be in the spotlight. Use movement sensors with your lighting to surprise unwanted visitors and keep them at bay. A blast of bright light will also raise attention with neighbours or yourself in the middle of the night.

5. Install time switches on internal lights

Your home is most at risk to burgulary when you are not there. Lights that are activated at a certain time will give outsiders the impression that you are at home when you are not. You can stagger the intervals the lights are switched on and off in various rooms make it appear like you are moving about your home.

6. Have an alarm system installed

Ask your insurer if they have a preferred supplier of home alarm systems. By installing a professional alarm system can often reduce premiums by over five %. That is a great saving, and it will give you peace of mind that your home is safe.

7. Don’t leave your keys under the mat

This will be the 1st place a thief will look. If you need to hide your house keys, put a little thought into somewhere a burglar would never think of looking. Also don’t leave your keys on a hook close to the front door where a thief may be able to hook the keys with a wire through the front letter box.

8. Insulate your external pipes
Outside pipes can freeze easily in the great British weather. By lagging (wrapping insulation around the pipe) your external pipes will help to reduce the chance of them freezing. If pipes do freeze you can easily get leaks in cracked pipes or burn out pump motors as the water will not pass through the pipe.

9. Regularly check you house and property for subsidence.

Subsidence is normally covered by your buildings insurance. It is important to detect movement as soon as possible to limit damage to you house. Look for unevenness in walls and floors and cracks in walls.

10. Only claim if you have to

The fewer number of claims you make, the higher your no claims discount will be. If a minor incident occurs, consider carefully prior to claiming the item on your insurance. If you do submit a claim and loose your no claims discount, is this going to cost you more in the long run?

In order to save money on your insurance you need to compare providers. Ideally you should do this once a year to make sure you are always getting the best price.

Nigel is a successful webmaster and publisher of a best home insurance website. This site showcases home insurance providers and answers questions like what does home insurance cover.